More than just a season..

Wow.  Blogging again?  I must have gotten bitten by the blogging bug!
No, really, I have some stuff I just gotta say so hear me out, okay? [even though I opened with an uber lame joke ;)]

So I am reading the account of Jesus' birth last night and just a bunch of stuff hit me.  It's one of those stories that some of us approach with, I've heard it all before..but really its a miraculous story that cannot be taken lightly.  And today there are all these movies about finding the "true meaning" of Christmas.  You know the basic Hallmark formula..female business executive (mid-twenties to thirties) is a work-alcoholic and maybe has a bad relationship past but somehow this incredibly handsome stranger tumbles into her life and teaches her what really matters, like family, joy, and love.  Great movies and I'd be lying if I didn't say I loved them.  And Christian values are often presented but the magnitude of Jesus' birth goes so much beyond a cute Christmas movie with a great story.  It's even more than a story it's real..it's history.  

You see all these church signs that say "Jesus is the reason for the season" or "Christmas is Christ" [side bar..I just googled Christmas church sign sayings and actually got some results..wow.  I don't know what we would do without these endless man-made resources that surely inspire and save non-believers..*big eye roll*].  Thanks for the thought but are we really reducing Jesus Christ, God who became man for these feel good anecdotes? 

Jesus is so much more than what the American Christmas, as a whole portrays.  Okay, enough of my hot air..

Something that struck me especially this Christmas was that Zechariah's encounter with the angel of the Lord is the first sign of something after 400 years of SILENCE.  Maybe the New Testament is just a page turn away from the Old in our Bibles, but imagine the Israelites' perspective.  The joy of being chosen as God's people, the struggles they endured and often brought on themselves by their unbelief.  The years they wandered in the wilderness.  The judges they ran in cycles with..the spark of hope in David's reign..the flaws in his kingship that showed that he was still only human and so would the rulers after him be.  The prophets that rebuked and spoke of a new era where the Messiah would reign as King.  The remnant's return to their land and the years and years of waiting for this promised hope.

It wasn't what they had expected.  Just another day serving as a priest to Zechariah, but God had planned from the beginning of time for the angel of the Lord to prophesy to him, the birth of his son, the forerunner of Christ.  

This is a miraculous birth..Zechariah's wife Elizabeth is barren, and they are old (rather reminiscent of Abraham and Sarah). John the Baptist is special and will lead a unique life, but he is only preparing the way for Someone greater..Someone who cannot just be a man filled by God's spirit like Elijah or other prophets. But he must be God himself..a God who becomes flesh and dwells among man and is man too.

I love the exchange between Mary and the angel Gabriel.  His response whenever she asks, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?" is so powerful.  "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy-- the Son of God.  And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren.  For nothing will be impossible with God." [Luke 1:34-37].  

For nothing will be impossible with God..again and again we place God in a box.  We try to hold him to  our own human standards.  How incredibly arrogant is that?  

My pastor illustrated the importance of the virgin birth this past Sunday.  It is essential that Jesus be fully God and and fully man.  Just because we cannot wrap our heads around something does not mean that it isn't the truth.

Jesus is born in Bethlehem..where David was anointed king so many years before.  Jesus was from the line of David.  An heir that would be the King of all.  It's so incredible.  The birth of Jesus is perhaps the climax of history; it's the divide between B.C. and A.D.  However, the birth would be nothing without the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

"The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own, and his people did not receive him.  But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to be children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." [John 1:9-13]

So wow.  I am amazed at the sovereignty and great love of God.  He sent His Son to dwell among us.  It wasn't a 33 year vacation as a mortal either, Jesus became man so that he could intercede to the Father on our behalf.  He still is fully God and fully man.  

And sure, it's not Christmas day anymore, but I think we have cause to celebrate everyday in our hearts, the amazing grace and mercy given to us..the awe-filling and undeserved love we receive.

And please don't say that Jesus is the reason for the season..He's the reason for our REDEMPTION.

Sisters

I have never written posts back-to-back like this, but it being Christmas and all.  I figured I would give you guys an extra treat! [Wow. Am I really that vain?] Well this blog is special..it is dedicated to my sister and very best friend Hannah Elaine Reynolds.  She's the one who first inspired me to write anything.
So Hannah is the best sister in the world.  [Don't put it on a mug because that makes it cheesy, but it's true!]  I could not ask for anyone better to be my sister.  Hannah gets me [that could be taken many ways: one she is so lucky to have me, two she is stuck with me, three she understands me..it's the last but really all of the above are appropriate]..and she could be my professional translator [or anyone's for that matter, she has a gift for understanding broken Spanglish, broken Asian English, English broken by crying or chomping on ice].
So we've had some incredible memories over the years.  I cannot even imagine life without her.  [Well for one thing, we are rarely apart ;)].
Hannah is a beautiful, Godly woman.  I admire her for so many reasons.  And those who know her, know how incredibly kind, loyal, and thoughtful she is.  Sometimes I don't show how much I care about her or love her or admire her, but I really do.  I figured this post would show her how much she really means to me.
This is who Hannah is:
Artist--All over our house, we have Hannah's artwork.  It adds a special touch to our home.  And every year, Hannah draws or paints something for me for Christmas or my birthday [January 12th..best day of the year ;)] or both.  The artwork is always so incredibly beautiful.  I am a HUGE Beauty and the Beast fan [check out blog #1 and my profile pic..this is borderline obsession].  She painted a keepsake box with a gorgeous rose on the front.  I also have two framed color penciled drama masks with the "All the world's a stage.." on one and "and all the men and women merely players" on the other.  God bless her for exposing me to some Shakespeare [She is an English Ed major after all].

Author--Wow.  All she could say was wow.  Lemme tell you, this girl has been writing stories since she learned how to hold a pencil.  First "chapter book" she wrote was about her, our best friend Whitney, and me.  It is called A Princess, a Peasant, and an Archer..our roles respectively [I know you expected me to be the princess, but in those days I made a much better archer].  It is really a wonderful story.  And she has wrote so many more and they have become complex novels with twists and turns.  Her imagination absolutely does not stop when she starts to write.  She feels her emotions so deeply which adds so much to her writing but can sometimes be painful in hurtful experiences.  But she pushes through and is a sub-creator [really great essay about being sub-creators written by J.R.R. Tolkien...Hannah wrote a paper about it once..because we are made in the image of God we are able to sub-create in order to glorify God]  I could go on and on about her writing, but why don't you just check out her blog instead..A Writer's Heart.  Phenomenal.

Thoughtful--Seriously, I have never met someone so thoughtful!  She remembers everything..I call her the keeper of the memories.  She knows what people need and is able to show her care for them through random acts of kindness.  I have been so blessed by all the sweet things she does for me!
Prayer Warrior--Hannah has a heart for others and knows the power of prayer.
Loyal--A friend of hers is a friend of life, no matter what happens.
Hilarious--Not everyone sees this side, but those who do, know what I mean.  She has the wittiest, snarkiest humor ever.  She can make me laugh harder than anyone else.
And I say all this to say that I love her with all my heart and that she is so special to me.  People don't always understand the bond that siblings can share.  I am so thankful that I have Hannah in my life.  And I know everyone has special family members or friends that they feel the same about.  I hope you take the time to thank them for being there for you and for caring.  In the world we live in, a loving family is not something to be taken for granted.
And Hannah and I are more than biological sisters, we are sisters in Christ.  For we "have received the Spirit of adoption as sons by whom we cry 'Abba! Father!'"
Thank you Lord for blessing me with a best friend like her.
"And these are the faces we most often have. Smiling and happy we'll always be. Sisters and best friends, you are a part of me."

Why do you fear?

So it's time for another blog..apparently I'm only having monthly installments now.  So let's recap my life since I last blogged [don't groan, who else do you expect me to talk about ;)].
Grayson [younger cousin by four years, just like me though, readers, let me tell you, you would just love her] journeyed to little Tigerville, SC and stayed in our dorm with us.  Should have seen how we got around with a giant mattress in the middle of the floor.  Haywood Mall got a dose of our craziness, and I almost convinced them to sit on Santa's lap.  Oh and don't paint your nails outside in the cold..it only leads to a mess when you attempt to put a hoodie on with wet nails.  Ooo and I went contra dancing.  Absolutely ah-mazing! I thought I was going to be terrible because I have a rep of being a bad dancer but I ended up doing alright! Definitely wanna try it again next semester.  Thanksgiving was delicious as always..spinach puffs, jenga, and of course coconut cake!  Exams went by pretty smoothly.  Hanging out with dear friends in Downtown and Monterray's and playing Dirty Santa.  And now I have until January 14th to be home :)

Alright, let's get down to business [to defeat the Huns..God bless you if you get the Mulan Disney reference]. I hope you are still reading, forgive me for my mini life story monologue.
You know, I am not perfect [surprise, surprise, right?].  But sometimes I think that I have to be, don't we all?  And we also dream up life's perfect scenarios.  What if this, what if that, then this would happen and be so awesome.  But then we realize it's all a big mess.

See at college, life was going pretty well, and classes were kinda crazy so Bible reading slowly slipped through the cracks.  When I got home I spent my time "resting" and "taking a break" from school.  I saw friends here but it wasn't every day like I was used to at college.  And one night I just lost it; I broke down and cried.  I felt an unbearable emptiness.  Gone were the distractions that kept me from realizing my need for God's presence in my life [not that He ever left, but my ears and heart were tuned out].  I felt guilty for possessing a hope that I wasn't sharing.  Frustrated too that what I had done hadn't brought about things that I wished would happen. Tore myself down with that guilt, instead of moving on and doing something about it.  Beating myself up for not serving in some way.  Wondering where God was, I pushed those thoughts from my mind.  Finally I opened my Bible, just trying to find some meaning in my life again, wondering if anything would stand out to me. I had been going through Matthew before I put everything on hold.  Chapter 8..reading, reading..a centurion 's servant paralyzed in need of healing..reading, reading..Peter's mother-in-law..reading reading..cost of following Jesus.."Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?" Wait.  I backed up a few verses.  Verse 23 "And when he got into the boat the disciples followed him. 24 And behold there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep.  25 And they went and woke him, saying, 'Save us, Lord; we are perishing.' 26 And he said to them, 'Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?'  Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea,and there was a great calm.  27  And the men marveled, saying, 'What sort of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?'"
So I have heard this story hashed and rehashed.  All those private school chapels and Sunday school lessons.  The focus was always either on the fact that Jesus did a miracle or the overly used life application that Jesus calms the storm of our lives. Both are truths to remember but there's something else there to grasp.  I think it has to do with "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?"  The disciples were scared because all they could see was the storm.  They thought they were going to die.  But Jesus in His omniscience and sovereignty knew that the storm would pass.  He would bring about a calm regardless of their cries.  Jesus wanted the disciples to know He was/is there despite the storm.  He doesn't just disappear 'til we cry out.  We just need to have the faith to see him even in the midst of the storm, and know that when the time comes He will calm it.  Sometimes we are the ones creating the storms.  There is still knowledge to be learned and hearts in need of changing during a storm.  It can be a time of growth and preparation so that when life calms down, one can do even more in service to the King.  And as we grow closer to God, the storm becomes less and less violent.  The seas calm and winds die down.  Why then do we fear?  Everything has a purpose, a purpose to live for Christ.  This living is a lifestyle that is lived every day.  We show Who we belong to by the way we act and serve.  So I will serve my King; I will prepare my heart for when the storm ends, and I will share His truth to all.

Community..be thankful!

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I would like to share for what I am thankful!  You know those times when you are so joyful and full of thanks that you have this ridiculous grin on your face?  Yep, that's me right now...smiling like an idiot, drinking hot chocolate, writing this blog.  and well with a blog, you get to share what's on your heart, so here it is..First, I am thankful for the community of family, friends, adults, teachers, and mentors that I have all around me.  There are so many people that deeply care about me.  Maybe I should consider all of them my family.  And spiritually speaking they are.  It's so incredible to me how God created us with the desire to have relationships with people and with Him.  We all have that inner longing, a need to belong.  I feel like a giant jigsaw puzzle piece with people connected to me all around [I really like the puzzle analogies, don't I?..see Uzzah, Love, and Puzzles].  Friendship with others is essential to our growth as a human being.  NO, we shouldn't be lazy dependents who mooch off whoever they can leech on to, but we are designed to be part of the Body of Christ.  All with unique gifts and talents, supporting and loving one another as life goes on.  We all have unique communities as well.  No one person knows every single person that another person knows.  No one ever has all "mutual friends" on Facebook.  And to add another layer to that, we are all united when it comes to the Body of Christ.  And one day we will know no stranger.  [which as social as I am, I think I want that reality now].  I am so overwhelmed right now with thankfulness for the community of people surrounding me and the desire to share with them God's grace and love to be encouraged.  I am also overcome with a desire to expand my community so that I can minister to even more people.  I was reminded of some of my dreams today.  I truly desire to be a teacher one day.  My mission statement for teaching is much like my one for life: discover who you are (in Christ) and discover what your God-given gifts are so that you can use them to help reveal the glory of God.  Its a beautiful system.  Our interactions with one another are so important.  And maybe that's why I put so much effort into being social.  Everyone is crying out for someone to care, believers have that in Christ, but those who are lost need to see a tangible person caring now.  [fellow Christians also need a tangible person encouragement.] You reach out, you show love, and you tell them of Jesus. [I'm not saying Roman's Road, but just genuinely sharing about what God has done in your own life in a natural conversation]  And I'm not saying be fake or forceful, but let the Holy Spirit guide you and prompt you so that you can build relationships with others.  Another integral part to this is discipleship.  Jesus specifically poured into the lives of 12 guys for two or three years.  That's incredible!  Why do we not follow through when our community comes to Christ?  We are more concerned with numbers than supporting and loving our brothers and sisters and guiding them in faith and teaching.  [But more on discipleship another time.]
Another part of my dreams is to have a home where women and children can seek refuge.  There is a beautiful verse in Hosea 2:15 [context: The Lord is showing mercy on Israel when the people had gone astray and needed rescuing.]: "And there I will give her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [Achor means trouble] a door of hope."  A DOOR OF HOPE!  That's what we received when Christ died, rose, and redeemed us!  So why would we not offer that to others??  [Oh and here's a soap box moment..I would like to share the need for the Church to be compassionate towards immigrants.  Stop being mad about some not knowing English, when you refuse to show them how to speak it.  For once we were sojourners in a foreign land, but God reached out and called us to Himself.  Why do we not mirror that truth?]  Another place my heart is drawn towards, is teaching women their worth.  The image the world portrays of women is revolting.  Immodesty isn't even blinked at.  Women are taught that their beauty is directly proportional to how many heads they turn.  Oh and women are also the authority of the house hold because the men are too busy being BOYS to care.  The family has undergone a major attack from the media [and more about this topic another time].
So, I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life right now.  The Godly people pouring into me, and the wonderful people I get to pour into.  When it is functioning to its fullest, the Body of Christ is unstoppable through Christ.  I guess we will have to wait until He comes back to see that completely, but for now, I am thankful for the glimpses of His Kingdom.

Christianity...

Three point sermons.

Life applications.

Pharisees.

Commercial Christianity.

Everywhere I turn.

"If I count 

The hands that

are raised." 

Yet, the reflection

is not of a heart--

changed forever

but rather an

emotional overhaul.

Perhaps we should

remember to play music

when we preach,

reassuring ourselves 

that we are in control.

"Come forward,

kneel down,

declare yourself

so that I can count."

When Paul  and the apostles

spoke, 

he shared from the Bible.

No three pointers 

or invitations

Yet they asked

"Brothers, 

what shall we do?"

Jesus, our savior 

Our God, Our King

declared himself

that there would

be suffering. 

Wealth, health, 

and prosperity...

Congratulations

America, you succeed--

In business, education, 

Picket-fence houses,

Saying no to puppy mills

but yes to pro-choice.

No heart for immigrants,

illegal or not..

Churches ostracize

and complain,

Create a bubble 

of complacency.

Our own genre:

Christian fiction

Self-help

"Do not make 

my Father's house

a house of trade."

Marketing Christianity:

"If it's three main points

it'll really sell."

Frown upon the world 

for their sin and disgrace.

Yet we "Christians"

like our women pretty

with just the right weight.

Our children need to 

fit in, the older 

generation

obsessed with 

looking younger.

Yet "Wisdom

is with the aged...

understanding in the

length of days"

Our values are flopped.

Our ways are crooked.

Deny that God can move

that He can speak--

audibly today.

Hurrah! You just put

God in a box.

Protecting yourself from

the abuses you say;

it does not

apply today.

Yet Joel 

prophesied of old,

"And in the last days 

it shall be...

I will pour out my

Spirit on ALL flesh,

your sons, 

your daughters

shall prophesy..

young men shall see visions..

old men shall dream dreams."

It is in the name of Jesus 

that we are healed.

I understand that it is fine

on mission trips 

when with

people groups unreached, 

to engage in such tactics.

But we would never

dare to declare our

dependency on God

and His grace

as long as we stand

on American ground.

Bent over, 

a perverse generation

devoured by gray areas.

To the world I say, 

"Be who you are; 

you have no one to please."

Turned off by our strategies 

to get them in "church"

Oh good, they say,

a building where

my family can be divided:

nursery, youth,

children's church,

big church, 

pray groups in between

Pizza night, game night.

Fellowship is in high demand,

but we know how to compete.

Entertained to death.

Cutesy stories

and sermonettes

blended together

with Biblical truth,

a murkiness

that no one can clear.

Scripture...

"Breathed out

by God..

profitable for 

teaching..reproof..correction..

training in righteousness"

Why is it not enough?

We are to be 

"competent, 

equipped."

So congratulations

America,

we've made it.

For we are competent,

equipped for sure

Experts at

Three point sermons.

Life Applications.

Even, Being Pharisees.

Verses referenced: Acts 2:37, John 2:16, Job 12:12, Joel 2:28/Acts 2:17, 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Uzzah, love, and puzzles

So, I'm definitely back at college and loving it.  [Ahem, let me clarify, I do not like pointless reading and syllabus jibberish (ooo, that's a fun word), but I do love the people, professors that teach by sharing their own life experiences, and learning about the field in which I am interested.]  I love walking everywhere and seeing people I know and stopping to talk to them and getting past the "How are you?" "FINE" formalities.  When I come home on breaks, I have to stop myself from sitting with lonely people in restaurants and speaking to people at the public library [What? I can't help that I have a hard time controlling my friendly!]  So someday I am going to live in a village where everyone knows everyone, and hopefully it will be a tropical one so I can eat colorful fruits and stay tan. [There you go, I just gave you more info than you ever needed to know, but hey you are the one creeping by reading my blog in the first place.]

A couple of things that I have learned since being here.  Ministry is hard. You can get burned out really easily.  But then you have to remember one simple thing, it should be Jesus pouring out of you.  He's the one who fills us up so that we can overflow with His grace and mercies.  I have a tendency to believe in myself too much.  [The Arthur theme song just popped in my head..."believe in yourself, believe in yourself."]  There is nothing I can do to reach people; I can't even change their minds.  It's God that works in and through us, and it's by His grace that we even live.  So put aside the arrogance of thinking you've got it all under control because guess what? We don't.  You will have a hard time being at peace until you acknowledge your weakness and His strength.  I absolutely love the song "Give Me Faith" by Elevation Worship; one particular part says "I may be weak your Spirit's strong in me / My flesh may fail My God you never will."  That is such a powerful truth.  It reminds me of something in 2 Samuel 6: "And when they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah put out his hand to the ark of God and took hold of it, for the oxen stumbled.  And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah, and God struck him down there because of his error, and he died there beside the ark of God."  Uzzah thought he could help God and on the surface it seems like oh, Uzzah was just one of those nice guys that is gona help God out...NO.  Uzzah was being ignorant and arrogant because he thought that he could do the Almighty, omnipotent Yahweh a favor.  God doesn't need our help.  How many times have I thought, well I am being obedient, God must be really proud of me...I must be helping out his "nice list."  That is so incredibly humanistic and sinful.  So that has been a hard lesson to learn and one that I am still learning.  Don't be a Uzzah.  [Btw, Uzzah means to be strong...he was trusting in his own strength instead of God.]
Another thing that has been on my mind is God's unconditional love.  I had to a devotion for my Child Development class the other day, and I was brainstorming on what I should talk about.  I knew that almost everyone that was in that class was studying to be a teacher so I knew I could draw on that.  The unconditional love of the Father towards His children should be imitated by teachers loving their students.  My favorite passage concerning this is in Romans 8.  Verse 15 begins, "For you did not receive the Spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may be glorified with him."  Picturing that love amazes me.  A father is someone who loves, cares, and provides for you.  We live in a fallen world so maybe your father doesn't live up to that, but God is the perfect Father and loves you as His child, and He is always there for you.  God adopts us into His family, and we can find peace and comfort in that.  And not only does he adopt us, but he gives us an inheritance..eternal life, spending time with Him and His family.  This is unconditional love.
And one more thing I have been reminded of, being here.  It's an analogy and perhaps over used, but life is like a puzzle.  [Insert geek shout out to all those fellow puzzle-ers ;)]  You get random parts at times and sometimes they fit together, but most of the time you get a piece that looks like a blob.  It doesn't fit anywhere, and it's not even a corner or edge piece so you are even more confused.  But God knows the whole story, he created the picture that the piece is going to fit in.  He created you and wants to show you how those pieces fit.  And finishing a puzzle is satisfying [And I'm talking like well over 3000 pieces in the puzzle here, don't be thinking life is a 24 piece Disney princess jumbo puzzle]  Anyway, this is all I have time for...I'm a college student with laundry to do and dinner to eat.  Oh and I got a 1 John blog coming up uber soon. :)

Let Love In

I write without planning.  Total spur of the moment typing.  I call it my brain on a page.  Which might explain why I have 6 unsuccessful brain-on-a-page's still in draft mode [hehe..mode doesn't really make sense there, but you get my point...and I'm now I'm wondering if this post will ever make it out of draft mode].  Anyhoo, I never know when an idea is going to hit me, and when one does I start acting like a mad woman, searching for my computer [like typing it out makes it legit or official or something].  I always write at night, but those of you who know me understand that I am a night owl rather than an early bird.  [The early bird may catch the worm, but owls are wise...and who wants a worm anyway?]  Oh, and I usually have these moments after I take a shower.  Which with all these stipulations and requirements, it's a miracle I've even written one post.  So right now, I have just taken a looooong, hot shower, it is 12:04 A.M., and I'm typing on my hot pink laptop [and perhaps I look like a mad woman with my big black Ray Ban glasses on and the screen reflecting brightly off of them].
Let's do this.
Well perhaps a good place to start is the beginning, which is the title.   The title of this particular post is "Let Love In." [I just saved your eyes a trip up to the top of this page, and if you have a really small computer screen, the inconvenience it would take to scroll up...double bonus.]  Ok, cue serious mode. We have all been through hard times. People that we trusted and loved have let us down or maybe we've let down people that have loved and trusted us.  It works both ways; there is no denying that.  Personally, I have been hurt and have hurt others.  You try to move on and not let it affect you, but it does.  I started working at a day care this summer [stay with me, I couldn't think of a transition word, but this will come together] and at first I was really excited about the opportunity.  But when some things went sour in my personal life, I let the doors slowly close on my own heart.  How could I ever be close to them?  I would have to leave in a couple months to go to college anyway.  It's just a job.  I am going to get hurt or hurt them if I let them in.  These lies were in the back of my head.  I didn't want to try, make the effort.  Yet God knew that I was destined to have that job and that I would glorify Him through it.  [Which makes it difficult, ya know?  Having God in control and guiding your life so that you experience things that draw you closer to Him and make you a brighter light to His people.]  I loved them as soon as I laid my eyes on them, and as much as I tried to keep them at bay, I was drawn in.  I knew it was my calling.  I knew them all so well, and I can't describe to you how much love I have for them.  They were ministering to me, showing me the innocence and love of a child, the importance of discipline by a loving teacher so that they wouldn't hurt themselves or others.  We taught each other the verse, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another" (John 13:34).  But alas, it was all coming to an end.  I knew that so I started getting burnt out and discouraged.  A couple of things went wrong, and I thought that maybe I wasn't cut for teaching children.  One night, I prayed and wrote it down in my journal: God please help me.  I do not want to be a school teacher at all.  Please change my heart if I am supposed to be one...Please make my calling crystal clear...  The very next day was my last.  I climbed the stairs and was overcome with sadness.  My heart was breaking.  I walked to put the milk for snack away in the upstairs fridge, and I started crying, like a blubbering baby. [I do NOT cry in public...EVER].  I walked into the classroom and told them it was my last day.  I don't know how they understood me I was crying so hard.  And then the most touching thing in the world...they started crying too!!!  Then we had this huge cry fest.  And I ended up in the floor holding a lot of them.  I realized in that moment that I LOVE them and I LOVE teaching.  Even in a short time, they were in my heart, so very close.  I had made a difference in those short months.  And they had made a difference in me.  I was afraid of letting people in, but I did it without even knowing it.  And letting those children in  my heart was so worth it.  I showed them God's love, and I hope sowed seeds.  It would have been a tragedy to leave without ever opening up and caring.  It would have been horrible if I left without letting Christ shine through me.  So what may seem like a sad ending to some, I see it as a beautiful miracle and happy beginning.  Those tears showed devotion, and they showed love.  "For love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love NEVER ends..."  (1 Cor. 13:7-8).  And that gives me just the biggest picture of God's love for us.  He loves His children with a love so much greater than even that.  A love that not only cares, but one that SACRIFICES.  I am amazed by that truth.  Let love in, let love flow in and through you.  God's love heals, it makes us whole so that we can love His people and sacrifice more and more every day.

Mirrored Reflections

Grandpa John McCart and Me
*Notice: I am being ME

Today was not a normal day.  [But of course, normal for me is rather abnormal, but still i think you understand my point].  Alarm [Skillet's "I Need a Hero"].  Turn over.  8:40 a.m.  Too early.  Brain dead.  Want a shower.  Must get towels.  Informed that the hot water heater is broken.  Cue panic.  [Those of you who know me, would know that I am not one to rough it or go without showers...see males can have that whole rugged look, "I'm too manly to bathe attitude" and get away with it, but girls have to be clean and smell nice..this is quite an injustice].  So my mother gave me two options: take a cold shower or drive half an hour to my grandparents' house.  I chose the latter [I am notorious for taking looooong, hot showers].  When we arrived, Hannah (my sister) got to go first so I sat down with my Grandpa and ate my breakfast [yes, I braved McDonald's drive-thru line in my pj's].  We get along very well because we are very similar in personality and appearance [my laugh, skin tone, and sharp nose are directly inherited ;)].  When I was little, I loved my Grandfather and spending time with him, but I didn't realize how wonderful he was to talk to.  Now that I am an adult, I feel very comfortable sharing funny stories, talking about the Bible, or  bringing up controversial and political issues.  After laughing over various things, he said, "Michaela I want to tell you something..you are totally and completely Michaela.  God gave you that personality.  You don't want to change your personality ever.  If anything needs to be changed it's a person's character.  Your character should conform to God's character."  He has told me that in so many words before, but today it really stuck out.  God is such an amazing God.  He made each and every one of us unique individuals with our own awesome personality.  No one is exactly like you and that's the way it should be.  "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Gen. 1:27)  Because God created us in His image that means that we are beings designed to be imitators of Him and His character.  But you can also look at the numerous people in the Bible and see the various personalities that emerge.  You have the humble and gentle Mary, Moses who was too shy to speak, Deborah--who was one wise woman, [she's one of my heroes..so cool that "she used to sit under the palm of Deborah..and the people of Israel came up up to her for judgment" Judges 4:5] and Paul, an energetic and persevering man.  All these very different people conformed to God's standards and honored him, but each had a unique personality and various ways of doing things.  So if you ever wonder who you even are, know that you are God's child and that He made you just the way you are supposed to be.  I struggled with that many times, especially these past months.  I wanted so badly to be just what people wanted to see.  In several instances I became a mirror that reflected exactly what they wanted to see.  But you know what?  I'm tired of that, exhausted from lugging that full length mirror around.  What would happen if it slipped, if someone glimpsed the real me?  So I severed ties and let go.  I had to be Michaela.  No one else.  And being Michaela happens to be AWESOME, but I wouldn't wish it on you.  Being [Insert your name here] is awesome for [Insert appropriate pronoun here]. But the most wonderful part is that whoever you are, you have God for a Father, and He created you to be completely and totally YOU! :) 
P.S Just discovered the font color changer-thingy...ooo la la

my rather complicated thought process...

So I have a confession guys, I've had a really hard time of thinking of something to blog about.  [Don't act like you've never had blog-block].  This is my fourth draft that I've started, and they are all about completely different things.  [My brain is processing a whole lot of nothing at the moment].  Let's see...I'm thinking about two books and one movie that I recently read/watched that seemed to leap from the pages/screen just to tell me what an idiot I've been, but of course, there are happy endings after all.  I'm thinking about how I go back to college in 4 weeks, how I can't remember half the classes I signed up for, and how I will fit all my stuff in that tiny dorm room again.  Word of advice, NEVER overestimate the size of a dorm room, think of it as a pocket-sized prison cell and then you won't be disappointed [although I don't know why you would have a prison in your pocket, but let's hope you understood the thesaurus.com adaptation of small ;)]. I'm also wondering if I should continue to read a book I just started...the main character's name is Millicent. And all I can imagine is Maleficent from Disney's Sleeping Beauty.  [For those of you who are quite certain I am rambling at the moment, I invite you to look up to the title of my blog for a moment and well, it's definitely your fault for not expecting the randomness].  One thing that has been on my mind lately, is the mention of reason and persuasion in the book of Acts.  Often people forget the importance of an intelligent argument.  Christians should be intelligent people who know how to reason with others and make their case known.  Everyone of us should be an apologist at heart.  If Paul used reason and persuasion in the Bible then why shouldn't we Christians follow suit and try it ourselves?  [Christians look dumb..ALOT. And frankly that is just SAD.  We are beings created in the image of God, carrying within us the Truth of the gospel, and we let our unintelligent minds weigh down the knowledge of the Holy Spirit.] Acts 17 says that Paul "reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and devout persons, and in the marketplace every day with those who happened to be there." (vs. 17) Paul also had to know his audience; he reasoned with both the synagogue attending Jews and then just the average person.  "Philosophers also conversed with him." (vs. 18)  Some acknowledged "you bring some strange things to our ears.  We wish therefore to know what these things mean." (vs. 20) And then the author says, "Now all the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there would spend their time in nothing except telling or hearing something new." (vs. 21)  This is also interesting because it shows that reasoning with one another takes time.  Later in Ephesus, Paul "entered the synagogue and for three months spoke boldly, reasoning and persuading them about the kingdom of God." (Acts 19:8)  Paul even used reason and persuasion when standing before King Agrippa, whose own response was, "In a short time would you persuade me to be a Christian?" (Acts 26:28)  These examples all point to the authority of reason when it comes to sharing the gospel.  Of course, reason needs to be paired with love and humility.  Arrogance can be the demise of an argument.  I know I started out rather random, but it seems that God always directs my heart to His purposes by the end of every blog. Well, I suppose I've given you enough to mull over until I write again.

...bored...well, maybe not

Haha, so I'm so tired of trying to think of something to write about on my blog.  Am I honestly that BORING?  Urgh, [that interjection's pronunciation is up to the reader] sometimes I feel as if my life is going no where.  And I doubt I am alone in this.  [your interpretation of that sentence could be--my life is going no where and others feel as if my life is going no where as well or my life is going no where and others feel their lives are going no where too..your discretion there, I won't be offended].  Perhaps, I should review my life of late and determine whether or not it is as dull as I am making it out to be.  Hmmmm, I work at a daycare five days a week.  [I won't disclose too many specifics, not because of national security or anything grand like that, but rather because I know that there are some definite stalking creeps out there].  You never know what to expect there.  When I arrive for my shift, I'm always greeted with a voluminous "MISS MICHAELA" followed by crushing hugs.  It's so sweet and makes me smile.  Of course those same kids often give me trouble later on throughout the day, but I do have a sense that they do love me as their teacher, and I love them.  I try to remind them of my love and God's love everyday.  I never want them to leave wondering about either.  I enjoy the one-on-one time the most;  I love hearing about their lives and what they have done over the weekend.  Most of the stories are of your average American kid, but others make you sad and give you a twinge of guilt for not being more grateful for your own situation in life.  Which, wow, I've just realized how ungrateful my beginning sentences must have sounded.  I am incredibly blessed with a family that loves me.  I come home to a peaceful place where I know that someone cares about me.  It's a wonderful feeling, but even more wonderful than a parents' love is the Father's love.  Sometimes we blind ourselves to that fact.  God holds us in the palm of His hands, so tightly that we are engraved there [Isaiah 49:16].  That incredible truth should overwhelm us.  And just when I think that my life is boring, I get a call from a friend in the middle of this blog.  I'm really excited about the way God is working with His timing in her life.  So thank you God for your blessings in my life, for the moments when you bring joy and smiles. I think I have discovered that I rather do enjoy my life.  And, hey who doesn't like having some down time to watch BBC's Robin Hood on Netflix or Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows, including special features [well, I've just given away what my evening consisted of ;) ].  Be thankful for what you have and enjoy the moment because you never know..in a split second everything could change.

A Toothbrush Moment

Don’t you just love those moments whenever something that you haven’t thought about for awhile [I suppose your subconscious mind could have been mulling it over without your knowledge], and suddenly it comes to the forefront of your mind again and clicks?  I had one of those moments last night.  I had just finished reading my Bible, and had fallen asleep praying [don’t judge…we’re all guilty of that, the disciples included] and went upstairs to brush my teeth.  As I was going to town on my teeth, I started thinking about how the Bible says for wives to submit to and respect their husbands, and for husbands to love their wives.  I had wondered for some time why it never seemed to say that wives were to love their husbands.   But then it dawned on me, respect is two-fold.   The man you respect is the man you can love.  The kind of person you respect is the kind of person you deserve.  For example, let’s say there’s a girl, who may “love” a boy who is flirtatious with other girls and all around good-for-nothing, and because her standard is low she fools herself into believing that she respects him.  But as she matures in Christ and realizes who she is in Christ and her value, her standard of what a Godly husband should look like will raise considerably.  So then she can no longer respect a man who is no good for her.  [Stay with me male readers, I am in no way assuming that all men are like that, and I know that I have many brothers in Christ who are honorable men…I am just focusing on the female perspective for right now].  So a Godly young man should strive to earn the respect of a Godly young woman.  After some researching, I found out that the respect that is referred to in Ephesians 5:33 [“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”] is the same word used for fearing the Lord—phobeo.  So women should have a respect for their husbands that mimics their respect for the Lord.  God’s character is immaculate and deserving of phobeo, but humanity is depraved and undeserving.   A Christian man must imitate the character of Christ [i.e. Eph. 5:25-28 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself”].  If I respect someone it is because there in some way above me—an authority figure, someone older than me, someone smarter than me, or someone whose character proves to be more honorable than mine own.  [Of course, we are called to love everyone regardless, but respect is more a response to worthiness…giving respect where respect is due].  So if a women respects her husband, that implies that he is a leader worthy of it, in all areas, but most importantly spiritually, and is someone who is truly her better half.  Whenever you have respect and admiration for someone like that then you have a love deeper than those cheap worldly imitations.  It’s quite a beautiful system really, if you are a Christian striving to honor God then your standard of a mate is going to match God’s standard.  You’ll respect the kind of man that has a heart after God’s own heart.  And a man like that will value you and love you like God does, like Christ loves the Church.    

So...I'm a blogger now.

So, everyone seems to be blogging these days, and I finally decided that my life was just as important [or just as boring] to type up for a blog.  I suppose I should start by introducing myself, although I’m sure the only people who will read this will be relatives or friends who feel obligated.  My name is Michaela [pronounced Ma-kay-lah...but I like the unique spelling…and Biblical implications].  My favorite color is pink, I guess, it used to be yellow, and now I like neon orange too.  I love anything to do with Beauty and the Beast, and therefore roses.  I love that story because she falls in love with the Beast for his heart and not his appearance.  I am a Christian and pray that my actions show that.  I love reading the Bible, and I genuinely mean that.  I used to get bored with the stories that I had heard/read many times, being a private school/church kid, but recently, the last two years or so, I got a real hunger for Word of God.  The other day I was reading the last couple chapters of Acts, and I was enthralled as I read about Paul’s imprisonment and various appeals to Caesar and Agrippa and his defense of the faith.  Sometimes, we forget how real the Bible is.  All the stories it contains are actual events and happenings.  Anyway, I have found that when you take the time to sit and read the Word of God that you are drawn in by the testimonies of real life people who lived for the glory of God, and your life gains some perspective.  It’s important to remember that we aren’t the only ones out there.  Others are suffering and have their own issues and problems.  Sometimes it’s good to take a moment and truly think about all the blessings God has given you.  Understand that the trials you go through, draw you closer to Christ and allow you to speak truth from experience into others’ lives.  Discipleship is foundational to Christianity and should not be taken lightly.  Whenever you are involved in someone’s life, you can see the places where they need guidance, but you can also see the places where your heart needs to be changed.  It’s a good system that works both ways.  Well, perhaps, I have done enough rambling for now…hope you don’t feel as if you wasted your life reading this [which unless, you are a really slow reader, this shouldn’t take more than 3 minutes].